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An Author's Perspective

Featuring new fiction from Ken Brosky and author authors, as well as occasional political commentary whenever something really important happens. But mostly fiction.

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Newt Gingrich Fun

chickenhawks, democrats, iraq lies, republicans, war

If you've been to a Starbucks in the past year, you've probably noticed that each cup has a quote from a celebrity or quasi-celebrity (or just an interesting person). Why Starbucks asked Newt Gingrich to contribute to this program is beyond me, but I think it's worth a laugh. And given the current state of our financial system, I think we could all use a laugh right now.

Here's his quote:

"On the battlefield of ideas, winning requires moving toward the sound of the guns."
~Newt Gingrich.

Why is this funny? Because Newt Gingrich is a Chickenhawk. "Chickenhaws" are conservatives who support war but will not serve in the military, and typically have attempted to avoid serving in the military at all costs. Gingrich is no exception. When he had the chance to fight in Vietnam, Gingrich sought graduate school deferment instead. So, in the interest of truth, I've come up with a much more accurate quote for Gingrich to use:

"On the battlefield of ideas, you can find me a thousand miles away hiding under my bed. If I hear the sound of a gun, I'll probably cry. Heck, the sound of a car backfiring is probably enough to make me pee my pants."

Don't hate me, but I really get a kick out of this. It's funny in a morbid sort of way. After all, these are all the guys who cheerleaded us into the Iraq occupation that's going to cost us $3 trillion dollars. Rove, Bush, Cheney, Wolfowitze ... they all passed up the chance to serve, and then they went and screwed us all over.

Some more, courtesy of Fred Crawford (from before 2006 elections):

The Democratic leadership in the House and Senate:

House Minority Leader Richard Gephardt - Served his country in uniform,  1965-71
House Minority Whip David Bonior - Served his country in uniform,  1968-72
Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle - Served his country in uniform,  1969-72
The Real President Albert Gore - Served his country in uniform, 1969-71

The Republican leadership in the House and Senate:

Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich - avoided the draft, did not serve.
Majority Leader Dick Armey- avoided the draft, did not serve.
Majority Whip Tom Delay - avoided the draft, did not serve.
Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott - avoided the draft, did not serve.

 


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