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Wanted - Parents

children, family, father, humor, life

PARENT - Job Description

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop


JOB DESCRIPTION :


Long term, team players needed, for challenging,
permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :


The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :


None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE
:

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION
:

Get this!   You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS
:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

No Retirement plan.

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Polaroids

family, father, fishing, humor, life, marine, Underwater Investigation

So what exactly are polarioids?

After extensive research on the matter I have come to this conclusion.

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Stock Market Tips

family, life, most wanted, retirement, South Shore Park

 

In today's economy you must be carefull. You must research all of your investments. You must safeguard your hard earned cash. This advice is a sure fire way to make informed investment decisions.

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Two Milwaukee Police Officers Gunned Down In Cold Blood

crime, father, MPD

Officer Rosario Collura, and Officer Leonard Lesnieski  were shot and killed when they interrupted a drug deal while on patrol.

They observed four men in an alley and stopped to question them. They had patted down three of the suspects and were patting down the fourth suspect when the man produced a gun and shot both officers in the chest. The suspect fled but was later apprehended.

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